the candle flame gutters. its little pool of light trembles. darkness gathers. the demons begin to stir. - carl sagan
While I had a similar experience too, even down to the odd discrepancy that prevented my father from hitting me while simultaneously beating the crap out of my mother, I do find that all the focus solely on violence against women to be somewhat arbitrary and unhelpful.After growing up in a house where my father was that way, I determined that I would never treat a woman that way. I went to such an extreme that I assumed that if violence was directed at me by women that I must deserve it in some way, and on top of that, to admit that a woman was getting the better of me is a rather difficult thing for me and most men to do.I was married for 4 years to a woman that would hit me, throw things at me, and even broke a chair over my back once. It's not like I was cowering in fear of being seriously hurt, but the feeling that I shouldn't defend myself and the fear of letting it be known were quite overpowering. I am a rather large man, and I could have easily overpowered my ex-wife, but the physical ability doesn't translate to mental ability.Essentially what I am saying is that when we focus solely on the acts against women, we really aren't dealing with the underlying problem of domestic violence. Further, it polarizes things politically to the point that everything that may protect men in similar situations is thought to work against the protection of women, even to the point that domestic violence groups set up to protect women actually actively work against legislation that would neuter the existing legislation and allow for protection of men as well. Further, these domestic violence groups often expand their horizons to fight against laws that would protect children from mental abuse designed to alienate children from one parent by convincing them of lies about the other parent in order to turn the children against that parent. While this has nothing to do with domestic violence, these groups view everything as a male vs. female thing, instead of a right vs. wrong thing.I am all for promoting the proper treatment of all people, but I would not associate myself with any group that works to exclude that benefit to anyone, and by putting the reference to women in the title of an organization, it makes it suspect in my opinion.